Inner Impostor: You’re not good enough.

That’s what she would constantly say to me.

 

You need to learn more, then you’ll be ready.

You need to practice more, then you’ll be ready.

 

You’re not good enough. You don’t know enough. You haven’t gone over this enough. 

 

FUCKS SAKE

 

It’s still there you know.

That really fucking annoying voice that whispers (and sometimes shouts) in your ear that you’ve not done enough, that you’re not good enough… 

But I’ve learned some amazing things along my journey of being a human.

 

That we all have that shitty inner impostor hiding in the wings.

That there are some surprisingly simple ways to shut it up, or at the very least keep it quieter so you have more space to think about the rationality of your self-sabotaging thoughts.

 

It has taken a global pandemic, 2 coaches, picking back up an old spiritual journey and a fuckton of repeating to myself “It’ll be ok in the end. Because if its not ok, its not the end” to finally get a hold of the internal trickster. I’ve done a LOT of work. It has been hard. I still use the techniques every day to keep the psychological impostor at bay. I teach some of them in my coaching programs.

 

I’m not going to say, “No all you need is this crystal, some sage and follow my steps exactly and you’ll banish your inner impostor/bish Whore of Babylon/faker/trickster/out and out cowbag FOREVER.” because that’s a huge fat fucking lie and I don’t deal in lies. 

 

You gotta do the work. 

Yes, it’s uncomfortable. 

Yes, you’ll be frustrated when you can’t banish the inner impostor immediately if not sooner.

Yes, you’ll have days of elation and days of ERGH.

Yes… You will be supremely proud of yourself for taking yourself on the journey and coming out the other side

 

Yes, it is a journey without a destination. 

 

I separate the last one because this was one of the hardest things for me to accept. 

I like to know when I have achieved things. 

I want concrete evidence I have “arrived”. 

But self-development is a sneaky bastard and doesn’t work that way, annoyingly. 

It’s a never-ending path of self-discovery and what is important is the JOURNEY.